nutella sex= disaster
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
