mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
