it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
