I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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