you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
