Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
