He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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