ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
