Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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