I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
