What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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