Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
