super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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