you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
