last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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