So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
