operation have a gay friend backfired
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
