no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
