If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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