it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
