It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
