For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
