i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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