does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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