Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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