we have officially lost it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
