i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
