its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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