Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
