At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
