Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
