Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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