come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
