do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I want her autograph on my taint
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize