you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
