i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
