i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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