# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
