Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
