Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hippo gnu deer
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
