I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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