you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
