That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
