i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
