Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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