Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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