You smell like stripper and shame
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
