They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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