Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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