actually, I'm a sock model
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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